Wandering spirits
by Skovko
Summary: Seth had been close to ending it all the night before. He had the gun pointed at his temple but he didn't go through with it. Instead he decided to take one more day to see if he could find something to make him go on. That's what's led him here, watching the crowd of happy faces around him. Through the crowd a woman appears and she's aiming straight at him.
1. Monday

**MONDAY**

Seth sat by a table in the corner the furthest away from the door. His coffee in front of him had already gone half cold. He wasn't enjoying it. Not like he used to. It had been a stupid idea to come here in the first place. He was looking around at the other people. Everyone was in there together. He was the only one alone, and it made his heart hurt even more than when he had been at home all alone an hour earlier.

He had been so close the night before. So damn close to saying goodbye and ending it all. He had the gun in his hand, pointing it at his temple, but he couldn't pull the trigger. He had chickened out. He was a coward. Afraid of the pain. Afraid of missing the shot and having to live in an even worse state. Afraid of the unknown darkness that awaited beyond this life. So he made a deal with himself. One more day. Just one more lousy day, hoping someone or something could make him feel something good again.

He lifted his head and he couldn't take his eyes off the woman walking through the door. Her mint green eyes stared directly into his. Her light auburn brown hair fell in waves over her shoulders. Her lips curled up in the tiniest smile but it was there and it was aimed at him. She walked directly over to his table and sat down.

"Hi," she smiled.  
"Hi," he looked around. "Are you looking for someone?"  
"You," she said.  
"I think you have me confused with someone else," he said.  
"I saw you from outside. Your sadness reaches through this room and out to the street," she said.

He blinked a few times. Despite feeling embarrassed, he didn't look down. Something about her wanted him to keep the conversation going. He wanted to learn more about her.

"I'm Avira," she said.  
"I'm Seth," he said.  
"What a beautiful name. It matches the face," she winked.

He blushed. Never before had a woman made him blush.

"Can I buy you something to drink?" He offered.  
"I didn't come in here for a free coffee. I don't even drink coffee," she said.  
"I think you're supposed to buy something or they'll throw you out," he said.  
"They won't mind," she shrugged. "Look around us, Seth. No one looks at us. They don't care about us."

He looked around, and once again he was painfully aware of how lonely he was.

"Since your coffee is already cold, do you wanna go for a walk?" She asked.

His eyes widened. If he had any smiles left to give, she would get one in that moment. This sweet and pretty stranger wanted to take a walk with him. Maybe it had been the right thing to wait one more day. Even if nothing came of it, he'd still have her as his final memory.

"A walk sounds nice," he said.

It was just a short walk through town. Soon they were away from all the shops. He wanted to keep walking with her but she stopped and smiled.

"Would you like to go to the zoo with me tomorrow?" She asked.

A trip to the zoo was a small request in itself. She didn't know that she asked him to stay alive for another entire day. That wasn't the deal he had made with himself last night. Only one more day. Only Monday. Now she was asking him for Tuesday too.

"I guess I can do that," he said. "What time?"  
"Come whenever you feel like it. Meet me by the red pandas," she said.  
"You're gonna wait there for me all day long?" He asked surprised.  
"I got a feeling you're worth waiting for," she smiled. "See you tomorrow, Seth."

He stepped in to hug her. He still wasn't sure he'd take another day so he wanted to feel her in his arms. Just for a few seconds. To have that final memory of a woman up against his body. She stepped back though, not allowing him to touch her. Once again he felt loneliness creep up on him. Of course she didn't want to touch him. She didn't want him. Nobody did.

"I'm sorry," he looked ashamed.  
"Don't be," she kept smiling. "You can't touch me, Seth. And before you start blaming yourself for that, don't. It's not you. It's me. No one can touch me."

That made more sense. It wasn't him. She had a phobia of people touching her. It suddenly hit him that she had to feel as alone as he did. Living in a world with so many people, yet no one was truly there. In that moment he made the choice. He would take another day to put another smile on her face. She deserved it.

"We all got issues," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow, Avira. By the red pandas. I'll be there."


	2. Tuesday

**TUESDAY**

Seth was waiting outside the zoo fifteen minutes before they opened. No one else was there. It was a normal Tuesday. Kids were in schools, adults at work. He'd have the zoo pretty much to himself. At least until she showed up. She had said she would wait all day for him if it had to come to that so he was gonna show her that he would wait for her too.

When the zoo finally opened, he paid and went inside. He followed the signs, passing the animals, aiming directly for the red pandas. He was surprised to find her already there waiting for him. He had been the first and only person in line for the zoo to open, yet she had beaten him to it.

"Do you work here?" He asked.  
"I used to," she answered.  
"So you're still friends with people here and they let you in before time," he said.  
"Something like that," she said.  
"You cheated," he said. "So why here? Why the red pandas?"

She leaned her arms on the railing and looked at the red pandas. Two of them were playing with each other while the others were sleeping in trees.

"They were always my favorites. I took care of different animals but these little guys were always my favorites," she said.  
"I get it. Small and cute. Very cuddle friendly," he said.  
"Don't let them fool you. They can be mean as fuck. They have sharp teeth and claws, and they'll attack without warning if you disturb them or if they feel threatened," she said.

She pulled down the thick strap of her dress to reveal a scar.

"See," she said.  
"Damn, Avira! One of those guys did that?" He asked.  
"That one. Arthur," she pointed at a sleeping panda. "I accidently woke him up, and he thought I was a threat. He scratched me open. It bled so badly, and I think I screamed like a pig. It really hurt."  
"Bad Arthur!" Seth raised his index finger at the panda.  
"I still love him though. Obviously he's not my favorite but he's still alright in my book," she said. "Let's move on. We got some hours to kill and a lot of animals to look at."

Almost three hours had passed before they were done at the zoo. A few other people had shown up, but mostly they had been walking around by themselves. Lunch time was slowly creeping up, and Seth wanted this day to continue with her. There was something about her that made him want to stay near her. If he started telling her about his loneliness, he was sure she would understand. He kept quiet about it though. At least for now. It was too big of a mess to dump on someone he had just met.

"Should we go out for lunch?" He asked.

It wasn't like he asked her out on a date. At least he didn't think he did. It was just lunch. They both had to eat. He had bought a bottle of water while walking around in the zoo but that was all he had gotten.

"I can't," she said.  
"How about dinner one day?" He asked.

That was definitely asking her out on a date. He hadn't meant to. It wouldn't be right to make her feel something towards him. Not when he wasn't sure if he'd stay on this earth. Right now she was the only good thing in his life.

"Can't we do something not involving food? It's so unoriginal, and we're gonna sit there being scared that we spill all over ourselves or get something stuck in our teeth. The struggle is real, you know," she said.

How could she sound so cute while turning down a date? He had never experienced anyone like her. It wasn't a no though. She just didn't wanna go out for dinner. She wanted something else. Something more. Something that he wasn't sure he knew how to give.

"Should we go bird watching tomorrow?" She asked.  
"Bird watching?" He looked surprised.  
"Yeah, we'll walk into the woods with a blanket, find a quiet place, and we'll sit down and watch. If you bring the blanket then I know a great spot," she said.  
"Sure, we can do that," he said.  
"Meet me tomorrow by the entrance to the woods," she said.

He nodded and he almost felt like smiling.

"What time?" He asked.  
"Same deal as today. I'll be there waiting," she said.

She smiled at him, turned around, and walked away. He watched her go. Her knee long dress was swaying from side to side. He tilted his head to the side, kind of hoping the dress would bounce up and reveal a bit more.

And then it hit him. He had just promised her another day. Tuesday wasn't his final day. He had to take Wednesday too. He couldn't leave her waiting by the woods an entire day. He wouldn't let her down like that. Even if he didn't know her all that well, and he probably never would with his dark plans, he still wouldn't be an asshole when he went out.


	3. Wednesday

**WEDNESDAY**

He drove to the woods early right after breakfast. He was surprised to find her waiting for him. He had been sure he would be the first one to arrive when he came this early. A crazy idea about her spending the night there hit him but he pushed it away. He was imagining things.

"Damn, Avira, have you been here to watch the sunrise?" He asked.  
"Something like that," she answered. "It's good to see you this early, Seth. I wasn't sure how long you'd keep me waiting."  
"I was trying to beat you to it this morning," he said.

He pulled out a blanket from his trunk and then followed her inside the woods. He looked down at her hand, wanting so badly to hold it. She could lead him into the woods so deep that he would never get out again and he wouldn't care. If her hand was the last thing he touched, he would die in an almost happy state. Or at least as close to happiness as he could come. True happiness hadn't been there for so long.

"Here," she stopped.

He unfolded the blanket and sat down on it, making sure she had enough room to sit next to him without him accidently touching her. No matter how much he wanted to, he wasn't gonna be that guy. If she ever allowed him to touch her, it would be on her terms.

For a long time they sat in silence. The bird life was very active. He watched and listened. It was beautiful and peaceful to just sit there and watch the birds do whatever birds did. Everytime he looked at her, she had a blissful smile on her face. She seemed at peace. He wished he could be like her. Happy inside.

"Have you had enough yet?" She asked.

For a moment he thought she was asking about his life in general because he sure had had enough of that. He must have given her a weird look because she held out her hand.

"Of bird watching, I mean," she added.  
"Oh, that," he coughed. "Yeah, we should go back. I don't even know how long we've been here."  
"About an hour and a half," she said.  
"How do you know. You don't wear a watch," he said.  
"Look at your phone," she said.

He took out his phone, looked at the time, and realized she was right.

"How do you do that?" He asked.  
"It's not that hard if you know how to read the sky. And I always got a feeling about these things," she answered.  
"A feeling about time?" He asked. "From what planet did you come, alien countess Avira?"  
"You made a joke," she smiled. "That's cute."

That was an odd thing to say. Most humans knew how to make jokes. But then again, making a joke felt like an odd thing to him. He hadn't felt like laughing and smiling for so long. Everything about her just made acting natural easier.

"Let's go back to the car," she said.

He followed her out of the woods again, once again looking at her hand and dreaming about touching her skin. Too soon they were standing by his car.

"Can I give you a ride home?" He asked.  
"No, I'm covered," she answered.  
"I don't see any other cars here," he said.  
"And yet I'm covered," she assured him. "Don't worry about me."

He did worry. Some crazy murderer could be roaming the woods like in horror movies and she could be his next target. He knew it was a crazy way of thinking but things like that sometimes happened. The only other thing he could come up with was her having a boyfriend somewhere ready to pick her up. It wasn't like he knew anything about her other than her name and that she once worked at the zoo.

"Do you wanna hang out again tomorrow?" She asked.  
"Yes," he answered.  
"Do you know that old ship they turned into a sitting area down by the dock?" She asked.  
"Yes, I've heard of it," he answered.  
"Meet me there," she said.  
"Let me guess. You'll be waiting until I arrive?" He asked.  
"See you tomorrow, Seth," she smiled.

She started walking away from the road and over a green field. He watched her for a while, wondering where she was going. She got smaller and smaller the further away she got. He finally got back in his car and drove away. She was a mystery. The old Seth would have tried to solve it. The problem was that the old Seth was already dead. New Seth was all there was left and he was just waiting to die. Not inside like old Seth had. New Seth was the empty shell called his life, and he had just promised Avira Thursday too.


	4. Thursday

**THURSDAY**

He did the same Thursday as he had done Wednesday. He finished breakfast and went straight out to his car. He drove down to the dock, parked, and started walking towards the sitting area she had talked about. He wasn't even surprised when he found her already there, waiting for him.

"Hi Seth," she smiled.  
"Morning, Avira. Let me guess. You watched another sunrise?" He asked.  
"I always watch the sunrises. Sometimes they're spectacular," she answered.

He couldn't argue with that, nor did he want to. He just wanted to be near her. He sat down next to her and looked at her. Her eyes were soft and kind and they never judged him. Maybe she would understand how he felt inside if he told her. He wanted to tell her. He needed to tell someone. It wouldn't matter if she would understand or if she would leave. He just wanted someone to know, and then he could finally leave. If she left him, it would make it easier for him to finally take that step. Right now she was the only one keeping him here.

"I wasn't supposed to be there Monday," he started.  
"At the coffee shop?" She asked.  
"In this town," he shrugged.  
"You were going on a trip?" She asked.

He sighed. It was too hard. He had to choose his words carefully. Maybe it was easier to pretend he was going to take a trip and it had gotten cancelled last minute. It wasn't entirely a lie. He didn't know what was waiting in the afterlife so he had chosen to cancel that final trip.

"I was gonna go away," he said.  
"Where to?" She asked.  
"Somewhere far away. Just go there and never come back," he answered.

If he was hoping to hear her say that she was happy he didn't go, he was in for a disappointment. She looked at him for a few seconds, and he didn't know what else to say. He chickened out again. He couldn't tell her.

"Do you wanna meet my friends?" She asked.

That was a weird change of direction. Maybe she felt that was it. He was supposed to travel but he didn't. Nothing more to talk about.

"Maybe," he answered.

For the first time he didn't feel like he could make another promise to her. Maybe today would be his final day. The gun had been waiting long enough. The gun was scary though. He didn't want people to find his brain all over his bedroom. He didn't wanna scar people more than necessary. They would be forced to live with the horrible image forever. He wasn't a selfish person. Not like that. He thought about people even though no one thought about him. No one but Avira.

"Do you know the Kanellis mansion?" She asked.  
"The museum?" He asked.  
"Only part of it is a museum, but you know it," she said.  
"I've been there a few times as a kid," he said.  
"We're having a party there tomorrow night," she said.  
"Is that allowed?" He asked.  
"I'm friends with the daughter Maria," she answered.

She waited for his answer, and he still didn't have one to give. He couldn't promise her Friday too. Not right in that moment.

"I don't know," he finally said.  
"Go home, Seth. Think about it tonight. We start at 9 PM and we keep going all night," she said.

She stood up, ready to leave him again.

"Do you want me to come?" He asked.  
"Only if you wanna come," she answered.


	5. Friday

**FRIDAY**

He had actually made it to Friday. He wasn't sure why. The gun had been beside him in bed all night long, and he had spent many hours just looking at it, touching it, feeling the darkness swallow him whole. He couldn't take it anymore, yet he was still there.

He spent the day at home, thinking about what he wanted. There was something about Avira that he couldn't explain. There was so much he didn't know about her, yet he had been ready to share his darkest secret with her. He almost put all that weight on her shoulders like a selfish bastard. He knew he had no right but he also had a feeling she would understand.

9 PM rolled around and he still sat in his house. He watched the sunset through the window, constantly looking at the clock as time went by. It was close to midnight when he finally got up and got out in his car. She had said they would keep going all night, and he wanted to see her one last time.

He parked at the public parking lot belonging to the mansion. It was for paying museum guests in the daylight, and now empty during night time. He walked towards the gates, finding them unlocked. He walked up to the mansion, opened the door, and was hit by music. He followed the music until he found himself in a ball room full of people.

"You came," Avira stood there.  
"I wasn't sure I would," he said.  
"Neither was I," she said. "There's champagne on the table."

He took a glass, took a few sips, and scanned the room. All around people were standing and talking, and they seemed happy. His eyes landed on a redhead. She looked familiar. That was the daughter Maria Kanellis, but there was something in the back of his mind that he couldn't pinpoint. Something his mind tried digging out.

"How are you feeling tonight?" Avira asked.

He turned his attention back to her. He looked at the red, knee long dress she was wearing. She looked good in red.

"I'm not sure," he said. "I feel weird here."  
"Weird how?" She asked.  
"Like I'm the only one actually here. Or maybe like I'm outside looking in on a group I'm not part of," he answered.

He scanned the room again. Everyone seemed to steal glances from him as if he was the guest of honor. It suddenly hit him why he felt weird. It was weird. He was the only one with a glass of champagne in his hand.

"Why am I the only one drinking?" He asked.  
"We don't drink," she answered.  
"I don't understand," he said.

His eyes found Maria again. She was staring directly at him. Her smile was warm and she looked friendly, but still it felt like she was creeping up on him in a way he couldn't explain. His mind finally dug out what he had been looking for.

"Wasn't she in car crash three years ago? It was all over the news. I thought she died," he said.

It was three years ago. He didn't remember it correctly. The car crash was real but she hadn't died. His heart started hurting again. No matter where he went, the idea of death seemed to follow him. He put down the glass and looked at Avira.

"Can we go somewhere to talk?" He asked.  
"I know the perfect place," she said.

He followed her outside. They walked away from the mansion, passed his car in the parking lot, and continued until they reached a bridge. He looked down at the dark water below and then back at her. He had to tell her. He couldn't keep it inside any longer.

"I was gonna kill myself Sunday night," he said.  
"I know," she said.  
"How could you possibly know?" He asked.  
"That was the night you started calling for someone," she said. "And I heard you. I listened. I answered."

He stared at her and shook his head a bit. His eyes fell down on her red dress. That red dress. She had been wearing it all week long.

"You don't change your clothes," he said.  
"I can't," she said.  
"Maria died in that car crash. They found a suicide note in the gloves compartment. Everyone at the party is dead. You died in that dress. No one but me saw you at the coffee shop. This is why I can't touch you. This is why you always arrive before me, and how you can tell time. You're a fucking ghost," he said.

Tears ran down his face. He tried wiping them away with his hands but new ones followed.

"How?" He asked.  
"Like you, I called out one dark night. Maria heard me and she came to me. I spent some days with her until I finally figured out what I wanted. She never told me who she was, and she didn't pressure me into anything. I chose to take the way out. On this bridge actually. I chose death," she said.  
"And me?" He asked.  
"I can't make that choice for you. If you wanna live, go back to your car and drive away. If you wanna die," she held out her hand. "You're already standing on the bridge."

He looked down at the water again. It felt like it was calling him. He looked back at her.

"Will it hurt?" He asked.  
"Yes," she answered honestly. "But only for a second. After that you'll feel at peace."  
"Will you stay?" He asked.  
"I'll stay right here and watch," she answered.  
"That's kind of fucked up," he said.  
"You don't have to jump, Seth. It's not too late for you to go home and restart your life. You can find something to live for," she said.  
"No, it's too late," he said. "And I did find something, but how can I live for you when you can't live for me?"

He had to do it now before he lost his courage. He quickly climbed over the railing and looked down at the dark water. It would only hurt a second. He looked at her, giving her a smile for the first time that week, and then let go of the railing.

It went fast. A flash of pain went through his body when he hit the surface, and then it was gone as fast as it had been there. He was under water. Hands landed on his cheeks and he opened his eyes to meet her mint green eyes. She was touching him and it felt heavenly. She placed her lips on his. He wrapped his arms around her and felt how they both moved upwards. They reached the surface and broke the kiss when they felt the air around them.

"How do you feel?" She asked.  
"Really good," he smiled widely.


End file.
